Lucid Dream Journal June 4, 2008
Posted by fmmh in : Ramblings , 2commentsSince my youth I’ve been able to have lucid dreams where I’ve escaped nightmares or adventured above trees in flight. A few of my lucid dreams have provided me with spiritual insight and a couple have made me cry illustrating deaths of loved ones. Only a few of my lucid dreams do I not choose to fly. I’ve had so many flight dreams that during wakeful states, I believe I can fly. I don’t really know the significance of dreams other than the fact when I have dreams, I feel I am getting really good rest. Most of my dreams are just plain silly and fun and are why I believe I have hypersomnia: I don’t want to stop dreaming. Also, most of my really good dreams occur between 7am and 10am in the morning no matter what time I have gone to sleep at night.
For the last couple of months, I have been trying to create a lucid dream journal. This morning I had my first rememberable lucid dream I’ve had in a while. The really cool part about this particular dream was during the point I realized I was dreaming, my thoughts yelled “LUCID DREAM,” and I instantly began take off for flight. What triggered me I was dreaming eludes me. What kicked me out of the dream was my toddler awaking and telling me “hi.” Being a mommy is an apparent obstacle between me and journaling. So here I sit trying to best to remember the dream. It’s difficult to put confusing images into words.
Here’s my feeble attempt:I look different, not fat and homely in appearance, but I look like a barbie doll. I’m a new singer on stage and after my performance, I go backstage, and the people in charge of me put me on bid in front of a crowd of men. The highest bidder and I will go into this room and perform sexual acts. This highest bidder tells me how everyone in the business is expected to do this to make money for the people in charge and to keep being a singer, and he also states how he only did this a few times before quitting himself. Did he bid the highest to tell me this to let me know I could quit too? Well, I quit and run from the crowd scene and find myself outside in a foreign land. I think I have the ability to time travel because I jump away from this foreign land and find myself in another place in competition with a sinister looking fellow who demands I bow down to his power and become his mate. I struggle and evade him. [I forget dream details here.] I jump away in time and somehow the sinister dude gets me and wants me to kiss him. Without fear, I kiss him and pretend to become a convert. [Again, details lost because of the confusing nature of time travel.] I jump away in time to that foreign land and am hiding from passerbys living a dystopian future. I find an abandoned route and then look across the field and think, “LUCID DREAM.” I begin flying and hurdling over dreaded electrical power lines. I forget I’m actually dreaming and begin struggling to keep my flying power.
Dream insights:
(1) I think the electrical power lines need to become a new signal to me that I’m losing the lucidity because it’s happened in a number of my dreams.
(2) I still have dreams of being chased and men trying to have sex with me although now I am not so fearful.
(3) Next time travel dream, I need to try to become more lucid. This was a very interesting exploration of worlds.
Beautiful Snow January 17, 2008
Posted by fmmh in : Ramblings , 1 comment so farIt’s so pretty outside. Life is beautiful despite all the pains.
Obama vs. Military Medicine August 15, 2007
Posted by fmmh in : Ramblings , add a commentI don’t know how I missed this last month. Oh yeah, I’m insanely busy learning stuff.
Senator Obama introduced legistation to suspend the US Department of Defense overuse of military personnel discharges of personality disorders.
YEAH! It’s about freaking time. If you ever met a soldier who returned from the war who was so scared to talk about what was really bothering him, then you’d understand the importance of this legislation. The men who come back from Iraq who have problems . . . what kind of men do you think these are? These are men who cannot mentally resolve the issue of killing. These are sensitive men. Typically, they come back to the States and resort to drinking to self-medicate. Then because they do not talk to the scary doctors about their issues, they get slapped with a personality disorder and an admin discharge. I love these men. I wish I could help them find the support they deserve. But I have my issues.
One friend of mine used to roam the streets of DC. He was labeled schizoid personality disorder (SPD) and given an admin discharge with no benefits. One of the main symptoms of SPD is the disinterest in social relationships. My friend did not have SPD. He and I had a very close relationship. He shared with others when they took an interest in him. Once after he told me about some horrible things in Iraq, I asked him if he wanted a hug, and he said yes, and I gave him a hug. I’m certain he has a misdiagnosis. They had a chance to help a beautiful person, my friend. But they did not listen to him. If they would have listened, maybe they would have heard what my friend told me . . . he had nightmares, he was scared of memories and feelings from Iraq, and he was confused about the meaning of life. That is why he would roam the streets of DC all alone. He was searching for meaning of it all. He was trying to understand how to find himself, how to find purpose as he is no longer a soldier fighting in Iraq. My friend has PTSD. Those symptoms of avoidance, hypervigilance, hyperarousal, re-experiencing the trauma, depersonalization, and dissociation were easily recognized in him. Shame on you military psychiatrists!!!
Anyway . . . Bravo Obama for championing this cause. It’s my cause. Click here to read the article on Obama’s Web site.
“With thousands of American service members suffering from service-connected psychological injuries, reports of the Department of Defense improperly diagnosing service members with personality disorders are troubling, especially when the VA benefits owed to our service members are at stake,” said Senator Obama. “This legislation will force the Department of Defense to suspend its use of this discharge procedure until Secretary Gates can conduct a comprehensive review of these policies and establish a review board to evaluate questionable cases. It is our moral obligation to ensure that all of our returning service members receive the treatment, care, and benefits they deserve. Meeting this obligation is one thing we can still get right about this war.” ~Sen. Obama
