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First Date November 5, 2018

Posted by fmmh in : Ramblings , add a comment

I met a nice man today. We didn’t talk much, so I still know nothing about him. He has the type of energy that makes me feel really comfortable. I think that may be a bad thing for me. Typically, when I really like someone, I don’t get comfy.

He’s beautiful and sexy but still, my heart & mind didn’t feel much while kissing him. He has zero body fat and great skin. Smelled and tasted good. But it seems my heart was not into him at all.

Also, I’m not sure if I’m only emotionally attracted to women…or completely unable to trust any man.

I can’t imagine this relationship going very far because I’d rather be with someone who pushes me to talk and inspires me to become more.

Typically men just want sex and they’re satisfied. Of course, they’ll play the wine and dine game, if you insist.

Joe was the only guy I’ve ever been with that wanted it all. Doubt there’s many of those Joe’s out there in the world. I miss sitting outside looking at the stars and listening him talk about dead philosophers and him trying his best to find a topic to get me talking.

I’m curious how many times I’ll meet this dude without real conversation. I don’t even know if I care about talking. I’ve been so lonely for years; it’s nice to feel human touch even if it feels so superficial now.