Grieving May 14, 2009
Posted by fmmh in : Ramblings , trackbackI’m grieving over being bipolar. Boohoo!
What mood will I have today or tomorrow? I seem unpredictable. Who will I be? I feel a loss of control over myself. Boohoo!
My happiest moments are being a mom. So, duh, yeah, I’m will be a mom. What kind of mom am I going to be to my son? And … I can’t have any more kids due to the medications. Boohoo!
Will I go psycho on meds? I don’t believe in psychiatric medications as anything more than placebos. I wouldn’t even take them now if it were for my husband warning me he would take my son away from me if I did not take the medications. Boohoo!
I feel stuck. Trapped in a wretched woman’s body. Bipolar is not my only issue! Boohoo!
Tuesday is my first appointment with an internist in a few years. My lab work showed my thyroid levels were high (TSH 6.59). It’ll be interesting to find out what this is all about. How I wish the bipolar issues were caused by my thyroid….but that would be too normal. I probably have inherited the fucker.
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